In getting ready for some upcoming projects related to the documentary “Sticky”, we were humming this song by Prince, “Darling Nikki”. Can you think of any songs that mention the word masturbation? Not many, yeah? How about songs that ALLUDE to masturbation? Send us your favorites in the comments and we’ll compile our National Masturbation Month playlist (it’s coming up- you can’t plan these things too soon) !
Device used to prevent masturbation
The practice of punishing the perpetrator of the act of masturbation is one that can be traced in documented form to the time of the Roman Empire.
The matriarchal society that was a feature of Roman life, tended to view male masturbation as an unwelcome, undesirable act, directly affecting procreation, so important to the future of the Empire.
During the first century AD, Christianity defined the act as a ‘Mortal Sin’ and the spread of Christianity brought with it the firm belief that self-abuse should be strongly discouraged in a Christian household. Even today the Catholic Church still categorises self-abuse as a ‘venal and mortal sin’.
Archbishop Borders of Baltimore, in his 1987 pastoral, ‘On Human Sexuality’, writes ‘Authentic human sexuality should open one to another in a deep and abiding relationship. It is neither unitive (sic.) nor procreative, and is merely sexual actuation with very little true sexual meaning’.
In 1992 Father Mateo wrote on the Internet: ‘In itself, masturbation is a mortal sin because it negates the whole purpose of our most sacred powers, the power to fashion family and procreate human life.’
That then is the view of God and the punishments distributed by Priests throughout history have been many and varied. In Ireland boys were regularly caned and whipped in addition to more normal religious impositions. Irish parents thrashed their male offspring when evidence of self-abuse was discovered, and the same scenario is echoed through many other countries of the Catholic world.
What emerges from this investigation is the surprising fact that punishments for masturbation have changed very little over the years and, moreover, that it has been predominantly the female in the household who has been more tasked to seek out and deal with the male self-abuser.
Punishment for self-abuse was at its height during the Victorian era and much of it was delivered by the Nanny, Governess or indeed by other female members of the household staff. In most cases the females were spinsters of mature age and the possibility of their being somewhat disenchanted or even unaware of sexual pleasures, only serves to explain their particular preference in dealing with young male abusers. in their charge, by means of potions, restraints and canes.
In public schools of the time masturbation was not condoned and discovery of an offender would earn him a severe thrashing as described by an author of the time, Edward Whittaker in his ‘Memoirs of an Eton Housemaster’; “Use of the cane and birch was widespread and the cane was administered by both Staff and Prefects. Offences were the usual acts of high-spirited boys, which led to class or dormitory disruption, lack of hygiene, failure to meet academic standards and general disobedience. These would be promptly and properly punished with a number of strokes from the cane on the tight trousers of the bending boy. The birch was reserved for more serious offences such as stealing or self-abuse, and was administered on the bare backside of the unfortunate pupil, as he lay firmly secured across the birching block. Only the Headmaster flogged with this implement, which was harsh in the extreme!
The most common punishments for this ‘crime’ throughout history were physical denial by various means and flagellation. As remarked on before, more often than not, this was administered by a female to a male in the first flush of puberty. It is not the purpose of this document to dwell on the psychological damage that was often inflicted as a result of this situation, suffice to say there are many females who are grateful for the fact that it did.
References to the punishment of masturbation prior to the 18th century are few and far between. It may be assumed that in the Middle Ages, Jacobean and Elizabethan eras, a more liberal attitude was adopted by a society which regarded such activities as normal, however it is also true that males were far more likely to be experiencing full heterosexual intercourse often from the tender ages of nine years old. There are many accounts of royal marriages being arranged for couples barely in their teens. In addition the Reformation of Tudor times destroyed the Catholic teachings and spread a somewhat barren moral wasteland before the confused and increasingly apathetic population.
The earliest reference to the use of punishment to deter the masturbator can be found in an account of the Roman household by Peter Moorview in his book, ‘The Roman Citizen’, a factual description of domestic life at the time of the Roman Empire. According to the author, many of the young male slaves had their penis ringed with iron or their urethra pierced to discourage erections and to avoid the possibility of them attempting rape. Other male slaves found they were obliged to carry out ‘bedroom duties’ (sic) as well as their normal domestic chores within the house:
The frequent absence of the Master of the house, (eg. in the case of military personnel), often led to illicit and furtive sexual activity between slave and Mistress and in order to ensure confidentiality, slaves were subjected to the most horrendous acts of cruelty to ensure their obedience and silence. Well-endowed and virile young slaves were much in demand and were available at public auctions to privileged sections of Roman society. Slaves purchased solely for the purpose of providing sexual gratification for their Mistress often had their genitalia permanently restrained within purpose made metal chastity belts to prevent unauthorised masturbation. Those free to masturbate would face a severe flogging with a rod if discovered and subsequently their genitals would be bound in bandages soaked in a mixture of herbs and peppers, which inflicted excruciating pain on the treated parts. Persistent offenders were generally discarded and punished by castration and removal of their tongues to ensure their secrets would never be disclosed.
Before 1700, medical references to the harmful effects of masturbation were scarce. In the eighteenth century two works, Contra: or the Heinous Sin of Self-Pollution, and all its frightful sequences, (by an anonymous author) and Samuel Tissot’s Treatise on the Diseases Produced by Onanism introduced concepts that a certain Sylvester Graham adopted and helped to popularize.
Tissot’s claim that loss of semen under any condition caused health hazards spread rapidly throughout the world’s medical profession and Graham’s Lecture to Young Men (1834) was the first of its kind and launched a whole genre of medical tracts on masturbation, known then as ‘self-abuse’ or ‘self-pollution’.
In America, where he lectured, a peculiar flowering of myths involving masturbation took place during the 19th century. The predictable culprits… Victorian prudery, evangelical Christianity, entrepreneuralism (sic.) are all part of the picture, and Graham, knowing his audience, and with a solid grasp of rhetorical devices made claims that no one could disprove. Or rather, would disprove. According to Graham a masturbator grows up ‘with a body full of disease, and with a mind in ruins, the loathsome habit still tyrannising over him, with the inexorable imperiousness of a fiend of darkness.’
Hardly surprising then that fond parents, Nannies, and Governess’, the world over, felt justified in meting out the most horrific punishments to save their charges from the devastating medical prognoses, and the hell-fire that lay ahead for the unfortunate self-abuser when he was finally laid to rest! Thus, the scene was set for the next 100 years or so…. ‘Punish or He’s Damned! …. was to be the cry.
Treatments for self-abuse, both physical and dietary abounded. Dr John Harvey Kellog, (brother of the founder of the Kellog’s Corn Flakes Company) suggested: ‘A remedy which is almost always effective in small boys is circumcision…. the operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anaesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind…. In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement…’ the chance of disease and death’.
General medical opinion weighed in with their recipe for healthy minds and bodies. Sexual moderation (no more than 12 times a year for married couples), exercise (to help prevent nocturnal emissions), no masturbation and a proper diet (to facilitate free peristaltic action of the bowels).
Masturbation led to madness and nocturnal emissions probably would as well. Spermatorrhoea was recognised as a disease, causing complete lack of energy and exhaustion. Rapid dissemination of these theories on the dangers of self-abuse among the upper and middle class citizens of Great Britain in particular during the 19th century led to an explosion in the sale of implements of correction, chastity devices, potions and lotions and increased demand for the services of Governess’ and Nannies to provide 24 hour observation of their charges and to provide the necessary moral guidance, physical treatment, and punishment that would be needed to educate their children and save them from a fate worse than death.
Let us now examine some of the punishments that were commonly applied in the Victorian and Edwardian households. Most of what follows is derived from information which was freely available at the time in the form of Instruction Manuals and articles published privately by training schools and issued to prospective Governess’ and Nannies. There were variations depending on the original author but all followed similar guidelines and established similar routines and punishments for infractions of the rules.
Minor punishments for masturbation might be applied immediately upon discovery of the lapse. The guilty party receiving a few quick slaps across the palms of both hands with a ruler or leather school strap. Alternatively be might be placed over the Governess’ knee for a quick but intense spanking.
This of course would be only a preliminary punishment prior to making arrangements for a more formal session of discipline which might include an imposition of lines to be completed prior to the boy presenting himself punctually and correctly dressed at the time designated by his Governess. Alternatively she might choose to have the youngster write out the assigned lines post-discipline, when the heat of the freshly applied stripes would sear the lines of education into the freshly amenable mind of her chastened pupil.
Lines suggested included:
‘I will not handle or fondle myself in any way, lest I end up in no good fashion.’ or
‘Self-abuse is the root of all evil and leads to excessive drinking and other forms of self-wastage. I will not therefore engage in this disgusting habit.’ Punishments by means of restraints were commonly carried out, some items serving the dual purpose of discipline and in addition, preventing the miscreant from further handling his genitalia. Some examples include:
Finger Stocks:
A wooden device, which held the fingers and thumbs of both hands. Pressure on the fingers could be increased by tightening down the threaded screws, which held the upper and lower part of the stocks together. The victim would be seated on a low wooden stool with his ankles bound to the front legs. The stocks would be placed on a table or desk before him and he could be left unsupervised for several hours to endure the increasing discomfort in hands, bottom and back with no means of touching his offending parts.
Stool Posture:
This was a supervised punishment. The offender stripped of his trousers and nether garments would be made to kneel upright on a wooden stool with his hands on his head. His Governess would sit facing him holding a wooden ruler and a leather strap. If his member became erect she would beat it with the ruler until it subsided. If his hands left his head, or he began to wriggle, his bare backside was chastised with the strap while he held his position. This punishment, even for a short length of time was humiliating and harsh in the extreme.
Bottling:
Various compounds of wintergreen, peppers, mustard seed, etc. (see below for details) would be prepared and massaged into the genitalia. A custom-made glass vessel was placed over the penis and the neck of the bottle was pressed lightly against the victim’s pubis. Air was evacuated from the bottle by means of a pump, causing the inflamed penis to swell and add further frustration and discomfort to the hapless offender. If he caused the seal to break before his Governess released him, he would earn further punishment. The need to maintain his position required enormous self-control, and was intensely humiliating, as it was carried out as a totally supervised punishment.
The Poultice Pouch:
This was usually made of soft leather with a drawer string top. The bag was filled with a similar compound to that described above (see below for details) and was then positioned to enclose the victim’s penis and scrotum. He was then bound hand and foot, face up on his bed to helplessly suffer the burning agony inflicted on his sensitive flesh. “After an hour the screams from the adjoining room subsided and the rattling of the iron bed gradually diminished. After a further 40 minutes, when I went to inspect, I found the bag was still in place and he had drifted mercifully into a troubled sleep, the cane that would visit his backside the following day, should he be tempted to remove the bag, was still held obediently in his right hand.”
Horse Hair Drawers:
Designed to be worn at night to prevent further masturbation and to punish for the offence; the canvas drawers lined with horsehair fitted tightly around the groin and upper thighs. They inflicted intense irritation to the sensitive genitals during the night. The drawer string around the waist was tightened and sometimes the knot scaled with sealing wax to ensure that they could not be removed by the victim during the long restless night without detection. Penalties for removal were severe.
The Bristle Box:
Constructed of thick cow-hide, the oblong box was made in two parts; upper and lower halves were hinged at one end, and at the other, a padded semi-circular opening allowed the box to enclose penis and testicles. When closed the padded opening fitted tightly around the base of the penis and scrotum. A strap and lock ensured it would remain in place and would deny any access for the purposes of masturbation. Both halves of the box were lined with 3/4″ long Hog’s bristle which caused immense torment. Such devices when worn at night had the advantage of preserving any evidence of ‘nightly emission’ for which further punishment would be awarded. Morning ‘Bed Inspections’ were part of the Governess’ duties and signs of emission were always concluded to be the result of masturbation when the victim had passed the night unrestrained. Restraints were imposed generally as an additional punishment for acts of masturbation as well as providing physical deterrence for any future offense.
Arm Binder:
The victim’s wrists were fastened behind his back. Hands and arms were enclosed within a long narrow canvas bag, which reached halfway up the upper part of his arms. Lacing along the length of the bag was tightened to bring the elbows together and tied securely. A harsh and severe form of restraint.
The Whipping Harness:
A thick leather pouch then enclosed the genitals and was fitted to a waist belt. A bevelled ‘cup and crutch’ strap an inch and a half wide ran from the bottom of the front pouch between his legs and was passed up between the cheeks of his bottom to be fastened to the back of the waist strap. The Governess would grasp the scrotum with one hand, the tip of the penis with the other and pull them back and under his legs before pulling on the crutch strap to secure it.
Care had to be taken not to tighten this strap too tightly as it exerted pressure on the genitals, which could inflict severe pain. When used merely as a night restraint the wrists could be attached to cuffs attached to the broad leather waist strap, which made masturbation impossible and would be sure to act as a further reminder that disobedience would not be tolerated.
As a whipping harness it provided protection for the genitals against accidental damage … easily inflicted when wielding a substantial whippy birch. Moreover when the victim was strapped over a block his legs could be spread and the sensitive inner thighs whipped without the possibility of inflicting damage to his genitals. The broad crutch strap parted the cheeks of his buttocks exposing fresh and sensitive areas of flesh for the attention of birch, whip or cane. This attention to detail and preoccupation with inflicting pain is prevalent in all the factual descriptions of discipline. Corporal punishment was administered in the same efficient and orderly way that was accorded to the running of the Victorian household and in later life the young gentlemen who had experienced this efficiency at first hand were to apply the same principals to run the British Empire. Order and Discipline, the key-note of the Victorian era.
In the more spacious and well-organised residences, rooms were often set aside and furnished specifically as Punishment Rooms. Governess’ were instructed: “The Governess will ensure that she has acquired a proper set of furnishings and implements such that her punishments may be appropriately meted out, ideally an Eton Bench should be available….” Essential implements suggested in the manual are: “a wooden hairbrush, slippers, tawse, tapette, switch, cane, birch, riding crop, martinet.”
Records of all punishments were considered essential and… ‘meticulous details regarding each punishment are advised in order to aid review of the success of each directive and to ensure subsequent punishments for the same offence shall be ever more severe.’ … Victims were always required to read and sign each entry after punishment.
Corporal punishments were formal and ritualistic. The good Governess was quick to appreciate the benefit of the torment and anxiety that could be generated by extending the time he had to anticipate each punishment. Written notes were recommended to announce his impending punishment and an example is given:
‘The punishment note should be contained within a sealed envelope for his trembling fingers to open. It should not be handed to him in person but rather, left in a conspicuous spot for him to chance upon and shiver as he sees his time writ large and bold upon it…’
It might read…
“Dear Tom,
I request your attendance in my study at precisely six pm tomorrow. You will enter the study, go to the cupboard and take down the cane which I have selected for your punishment and to which I have attached a red ribbon. You will place the cane on the top of the whipping block and stand before it after first lowering and removing your trousers and undergarments which will be folded and placed neatly in the comer of the room. You will remove the ribbon from the cane and tie it tightly around the organ that produced the offensive emission.. You will place your hands on your head and await my arrival. Do not increase the severity of your punishment by fidgeting while you wait or by failing to carry out these instructions correctly… the punishment I intend to give you will be harsh enough.’
Your Governess.”
Two other punishments were commonly used:
This guest blog was written by Mrs. Birch, a world class, professional Disciplinarian. She has written several other parts to this blog that can be found on her website www.mrsbirch.net. Whilst this is an accurate historical account and review of modern methods that are used, Mrs. Birch does not endorse that you practice any of these methods. Effects vary between individuals and can be quite severe.
What I find so hysterical about the new movie Hysteria directed by Tanya Wexler and starring Maggie Gyllenhaal is that it can get funding and distribution, when I still struggle to get the finance and distribution that I need to finish Sticky: a documentary on masturbation. Both films address the romantic, and somewhat comical, love affair most people have with loving themselves. Both films point out an ironic period in human history, a time when male doctors actually masturbated their female patients because women were too ignorant or afraid to do it themselves. To understand more, let’s take a look at…
Hysteria & the Invention of the Dildo
By the mid to late 19th century, “hysteria” came to refer to what is today generally considered to be sexual dysfunction. Typical treatment was massage of the patient’s genitalia by the physician and, later, by vibrators or water sprays to cause orgasm. The fear of masturbation likely prevented many women from taking matters into their own hands. This resulted in some serious profit for doctors who had to lend their hands, to help out. It was all so subversive, and hush, hush.
What’s really funny is that these doctors, and their prudish and horny patients, didn’t consider this supposed “treatment” a sexual act. The husbands were even paying for it! These Victorians were so closeted about sex that they chose to view what was essentially the mass fingering of women as a medical treatment. These physicians and their patients convinced themselves that it was all just good medicine. As the saying goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, well, more can be said for a good orgasm!
Enter the vibrator, literally. Getting women off was considered hard work. Doctors were developing carpal tunnel syndrome. So men did what they do best, and figured out a way to cheat. They invented a replacement for their hands, and their other members, that would create the good vibrations many women needed to rid them of their “hysteria.” So, did the invention of the vibrator change how we view masturbation today? Yes, and no…
What’s Hysterical About Masturbation Today?
Just this past week, I spoke to an acquisitions person, who will for now go nameless, about Sticky. After viewing a trailer and screener of the film, she admitted, with a nervous giggle, “I’m into some pretty kinky stuff, but I got to say, this, I’m not so into.” Naturally, I was shocked and confused. I’ve spent the last four years making this film and writing a soon-to-be published book (I hope) that I’ve grown quite accustomed to the subject matter, and the respective discussions about it with friends and family. I didn’t know what to say. I fumbled about trying to explain that it is precisely this attitude and shame that we are all made to feel that is why this documentary needs to be seen. I wanted to ask, “what are you into that’s so kinky, missionary position?” We’re talking masturbation people! She did admit that the time may be right for a documentary on masturbation. That’s when she made mention of the movie Hysteria.
This is why I am curious how things will go with this new film. Granted, Hysteria is a romantic comedy, while Sticky is a documentary, so the success or value of it may not really be so connected to my film. Some distributors argue that the market for documentaries has declined. Still, people love to watch documentaries, and they cost so little to make compared to most narrative films. I’d like to know from director Tanya Wexler how hard she struggled to get her film made, and what has been the audience reaction thus far. I’d also like to know from actress Maggie Gyllenhaal what it was like telling her parents, family, and friends about the role, and maybe even get her take on how we view masturbation today.
In fact, I’m going to reach out to them both for interviews. Maybe…they’ll both be daring and progressive enough to entertain the idea, after-all, they did make Hysteria, a challenging film given the resistance to the subject matter even today. Or maybe, they’ll also find it too kinky to touch it, if you get my meaning. What’s most hysterical of all and sad, too, is how even in the twenty-first century, so many people have such a hard time talking about masturbation.
Written by Nicholas Tana
Julie Wilson, Founder of Hot Rawks
The last thing I normally would ever think about while working a 16-hour day involving the largest and most grueling customer appreciation party of the year is masturbation. The annual bash was by far our most stressful affair, and as the event coordinator and manager in charge of the whole shebang, (pardon the pun), I had a hell of a lot of things to be responsible for. Not one of those responsibilities involved me having an orgasm, so why did I suddenly feel the urge to rub one out?
Let me rewind for a minute.
I was the marketing director for a rather large dealership for several years. You have more than likely heard of the company. It begins with an “H” and their signature color is orange. (I’m not talking about Hooter’s, although I had my stint wearing those shorts for a brief while back in my early 20’s. They would give you such a camel-toe that there wouldn’t be a need to run off to masturbate, simply walking briskly from table to table could get the job done). No, folks, I’m talking about America’s pride, the company that took a V-twin motor, added two tires, and a glorious rumbling muffler (which is yet another self-pleasuring device in its own right), and called it Harley-Davidson.
For those of you who’ve been living under a rock since 1903, Harley customers love to have a wild time. They enjoy life to the fullest, and most will never turn down a great party. Throwing regular shindigs for our customers is what kept them loyal to our dealership, which in turn translated to their buying more $50 tee-shirts and $100 oil changes from us than from our competitors, (translation: job security).
My job as marketing and promotions director was not only to plan, coordinate, and manage these parties, but to emcee them as well. I would have to get on stage in front of 5000 bikers and keep them riled in between the bands and the bikini contest.
Not only would I have to keep the party going at all times, I also had to manage about 60 staff members and make sure they were performing their specified duties such as emptying trash, providing security, refreshing the food and beverages, and ringing up sales. I would have to bark orders and zip around the dealership, all the while wearing tight ripped jeans, a cleavage exposing leather bustier, and sky-high stilettos. (My boss at the time insisted that as one of the main “faces” of the dealership, I had a responsibility to portray a certain lifestyle…one that involved a sexy, rock star wardrobe and an attitude that matched). The attitude part was easy for me, especially during these events, but the skin-tight clothing and 5-inch stilettos? Not so much.
So now you can see how it would seem nearly impossible to have a smidgen of horniness going on during all of this madness, right?
Wrong.
Let me give you a little insight into what an important and functional role an orgasm plays, specifically in the female body…
Women have the uncanny ability to orgasm and instantly feel recharged. I like to call it the Vitamin “O”. If I am Vitamin O deficient, I am sluggish, irritable, intolerant, and edgy. Once I have the wave of pleasure run through me, I am able to continue on seamlessly, with a relaxed and confident composure.
Okay, so let’s fast forward back to the climax of my stressful evening (pun definitely intended). The amp for the band isn’t working. One of the bikini contestants is puking in the bathroom. My parking attendant is out back smoking. The trash is overflowing. Two of my security guys are fighting. The customers were demanding discounts on every single item. It was pure pandemonium, and I was about to lose it.
I excused myself from the madness and told everyone in my path that I hadn’t printed enough waivers for the girls in the contest, and needed to run to my office for 10 minutes. A slew of cling-ons tried to follow me but I shooed them away like flies. I ran (rather painfully in the 5-inchers) to my office and slammed the door behind me. I desperately locked it like I was being chased by assassins, then pressed my back against the door, shut my eyes tightly, and sighed. I just needed a moment of silence and I would be ready to jump back into the lion’s den.
I took another deep breath and gently opened my eyes. My office was dark except for the faint moonlight that peaked through the blinds of one tiny window. A sort of bluish glow blanketed my office. Out of habit, my eyes went straight to my computer. It stood blank and frozen, dull and lifeless. My big leather chair was parked in front of it like it always was, but the moonlight hitting the shiny leather made it appear almost gray and translucent. I suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to straddle that chair.
I walked over and pulled it away from my desk and swiveled it towards me. My clothing was tight as hell, so I tossed off my shoes and wiggled out of my tight jeans. I stood there for a minute, wondering what my intentions were. At this point, I realized a little vitamin “O” was exactly what I needed.
I straddled the chair so that I faced it, then pressed my back against the cold, hard desk. Things were really starting to rev up. I proceeded to rotate my hips and rub my nakedness on the leather. I also used my fingers to simultaneously pleasure myself. The result was a solo quickie that had my eyes rolling back into my head and one hand gripped over my mouth in a lame attempt to muffle the moans. I had successfully rocked my own world in about 5 minutes flat.
I was suddenly at peace. The madness that ensued outside of my office didn’t matter anymore. Their shouts grew fainter and fainter as I slowly dressed myself and eventually slid back into the stilettos. I fluffed my hair, applied lip gloss, and swung open the door as if I were making a grand entrance into a sea of paparazzi.
I was ready to face the world, full throttle.
Written by Julie Wilson, President/CEO of Raw-Nation, and founder of Hot Rawks an Organic libido enhancer for men and women.
Why We Need A Documentary on Masturbation!
Masturbation is a Sticky subject in more ways than one. For those who know me you should know that I truly love my puns.
However, what you may not know is the mixed bag of both fear and excitement people express when they learn about this documentary.
I’ve decided to document some of the many diverse responses in the following blog.
The reaction goes something like this:
PERSON: What do you do?
ME: I am working on a documentary.
PERSON: How exciting, on what?
ME: Masturbation.
PERSON: Oh…(nervous chuckle). That’s when any number of the following responses ensues:
a) Awesome (Big fans)
b) Really? (They check the hand they shook mine with nervously)
c) Why? (Conservative)
d) Yeah, right. (Non-believers)
e) Need any actors. (Jokers)
A recent post by a new friend who was concerned about liking Sticky:
“I apologize, but there in no way in the devil I will click like on your doc.. I already heard about how its gunna go all over my page etc. (IS SHE REFERING TO EJACULATION HERE?) But, with that being said. Sounds like an interesting project. I would like to see it!!”
I will keep the author anonymous; however, suffice it to say her response (20’s, female, white) is precisely why this film needs to be seen! This is why we need education about masturbation and sexuality and to at least be able to have an honest and open dialogue in this country we call free.
To which I basically replied saying that I’ll keep her anonymous for now but that it’s precisely that ambivalence that convinces me of the need to make and distribute this documentary. Her response:
“WHHOOOAA waaait a minute now. I am in no way shape or form embarrassed or feel as though masturbating is anything to think of in a negative or derogatory way. I feel as though it is a natural thing. And I believe most people do it, and those who do not are not comfortable in their own skin, or comfortable with themselves in a physical or mental capacity. Also including reasons such as religion, belief systems, morals etc. However none of those reasons or thoughts are what I believe. So lets not get confused No hard feelings. I just wanted to make sure you know where I stand on the fact of the matter. The reason WHY I may not want it on my page would be particularly offending those I spoke about above. I do a lot of business via my page and have a lot of mormon family members and friends (given I am from UTAH mormon city) they think I am corrupt enough. Dont wanna stir the pot or piss people off ya know.
On another note, show me your doc then I can decide if I like it or not. What if I liked it, then saw it and thought it was shit? I guess I could unlike it. I cant like something I have not tasted ya see!!”
This was simply too much (bullshit) for me not to offer a concentrated reply. The sheepishness really got to me coupled with the frustration of trying to deal with distributors and investors and corporate sponsors all ultra interested but simultaneously terrified of this film making progress enthusiastically slow.
I understand your fear especially from what I’ve learned of Mormons and masturbation. P.S. I wonder if they’ve seen BIG LOVE! However, it could be a great opportunity to dialogue about this subject, your ideas, with family and friends. The trailer has no nudity and is purely educational discussion. Second, you like the trailer, not necessarily the movie. You are liking what the trailer stands for and not necessarily the film.
What frustrates me is that despite the thousands of Facebook page hits, I’m limited to about just over 300 brave souls who are willing to LIKE the page. Given the amount of industry and personal response in favor of the trailer, Morgan Spurlock (SuperSize Me), Zalman King (91/2 Weeks), Caveh Zahedi (I am A Sex Addict), Nina Hartley (Boogie Nights), and Larry Flynt (Founder of Hustler) have all expressed enthusiasm about its concept and development, I don’t think this apprehension has anything to do with not liking the trailer. It’s more for reasons that you already mentioned, namely, fear and embarrassment around sexuality.
Unfortunately, if people aren’t brave enough to support the idea and like the page because of a fear to offend, innovating and challenging ideas will never revolutionize and evolve this nation for the better. This country was founded on revolutionary innovative and radical ideas. To think, at one point not long ago sex before marriage, masturbation, women’s rights, black rights, all were dreams, the ideas of which would offend most of polite society, it’s supporting such ideas – despite the possible consequences – that will help to change things for the better.
If people like you are not willing to do this – a silent majority roots in the background and waits for others to show enough support, so that it comes out – the movie may never convince those risk adverse executives, and film financiers to give it proper distribution and exposure. If this continues to happen, especially in a risk adverse entertainment economy, filmmakers like myself will be without jobs and forced to produce the same old formula stuff that does not offend, which everyone these days is all too accustomed to seeing.
Kind Regards,
Nicholas Tana
* * * *
There has been plenty of positive response as well though to galvanize my efforts. I can’t tell you how many Gender Studies students or Sexologists write me wanting to know when this film is going to be released. I always tell them (often with a wry smile) it’s coming soon!
Subject: Autoeroticism
Hi. I am completing a MA Psychology Research dissertation on male autoeroticism and its contribution to self-construct and personal masculinity. Any recommendations in this regard would be appreciated.
Kind regards,
JP Crous
This really inspires me when inquiring minds want to know. This student showed real interest and seems to be taking a genuine research initiative. Depending on his response to my response, I might have to offer him a research position.
Dear Jacob,
I would love to help you but it would take me quite sometime to relay the information that I think you may need. Perhaps, you can tell me more details on your approach to the subject and I’ll be able to offer some constructive and or critical comments. What I can say is that our ideas of masculinity and self-esteem are very connected to masturbation. In general, we continue to associate masturbation (especially male masturbation) with perversions of the natural order derived in part from a fear of surviving the human race and religious notions of sin. Despite attempts to turn it around, no man wants to be called a jerk off.
Another student wrote me some time ago:
Name: Joni
Subject: could i watch the documentary for free?
Message: hi! i’m currently doing an essay about female masturbation for my gender and sexuality class and i do think that your documentary will be very helpful in writing my essay 🙂 just wondering if i could see this documentary for free? 🙂 thanks!
This was a great response and very inspiring. My response:
Dear Joni,
Thanks for your interest in Sticky: a documentary on masturbation! What school do you attend? We can reach out to your school when we sell the educational version. The film is not yet completed. We plan to do a “Safer Than Safe Sex” college tour next year with some of the people in the film. We would appreciate your comments on our blogs as well. It’s interest like yours that will help us to promote dialogue and education around sexuality in this country.
My most recent post was from a Frenchman with a not-so-good command of English. It took me a while to decipher his comment/question.
Name: adama ba
Subject: question
Message: ok i want to know which ill masturbation can give you. Please in French.
If I assume he is asking about what diseases or ailments masturbation can possibly cause, he’ll have to see the film to learn more. However, since I’m doing this in the interest of education, the short answer is possibly prostate cancer (though inconclusive since another test states the opposite) Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder (according to some sex therapists, if accompanied by too much pornography viewing) and a depletion of your vital essence (at least according to Chi Kung experts, and some Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctors). Now, how do I say that in French? Here’s what another friend from France who contributed to my film had to say about his girlfriend’s response to my contribution.
Sent: Wednesday, August 17, 2011 2:09 PM
Subject: Re: Hi Jonathan!
…it was a great pleasure to contribute to your movie. I hope you collected enough money to finish the movie and broadcast it. When I told my girl friend I sponsored a movie on masturbation, she shocked. I explained her… she was still weird about the topic you choose. She is anti masturbation… I assume she has to see your movie more than anyone, but it will be hard for me to convince her.
THE STICKY SEARCH FOR A BOOK EDITOR
My efforts to find an editor for my book, Sticky: Our Touchy Relationship with Self-Pleasure, resulted in mixed reviews:
Wednesday, Aug 31, 2011 – 9:49 PM ET
Hi Nicholas,
Thanks for contacting. I took a glimpse at your site and am not comfortable with the subject matter. Elance does not like for clients to communicate by phone. I appreciate you emailing, but I am not comfortable with this job.
Thanks,
Shannon
Just a little while earlier, I received a bid from an editor so excited by the material that he lowered his rate.
Wednesday, Aug 31, 2011 – 8:40 PM ET
Nicholas:
I looked at the manuscript. It sounds like a very interesting project. I would be willing to reduce my bid to $65 if it means getting the project.
Stephen
Still, even good friends fear helping me with this project. I received this response from a reined who feared helping me would negatively affect her and her husband’s business in children’s education.
Hey Nick!
I wanted to let you know that I feel so badly that I am not helping you out with your viral videos. I just think since ANNONYMOUS HUSBAND NAME and I are the “face” of ANNOYMOUS COMPANY NAME right now, that I should probably not be in anything too controversial, given the involvement in education. But if there is anything that I can do to help behind the scenes, please let me know. I am so excited for you and know that it will be a huge success. I want to support you however I can.
Anonymous Friend’s Name Here
In contrast, I received this wonderful e-mail from a student I met near a café close to my Alma Mater, Arizona State.
Name: Milynn
Subject: Trailer
Message: Hello!
I met Nicholas yesterday at Solo Café and finally had the chance to watch the trailer for this documentary. I think it looks really great and I’m excited to watch the entire film! I wouldn’t be surprised if Gender Studies or Psychology/Human Sexuality professors would want to use something such as this in the future. It covers a lot of what students are learning about in such courses, and I think it\’s wonderful that a contemporary, well-rounded documentary on such a taboo topic is being produced! Congrats!
Best,
Milynn
This was one of those “right on” responses that really made my day. I seem to recall she was young, energetic, intelligent, and attractive, too. Made me feel like a real rock star. Who said, nobody likes a (professional) jerk off? If it was you, you’re wrong! I toned down my response, naturally.
Here’s another one on a positive educational note:
Name: Bob Tourkow
Subject: OK, Where is the movie and how do we get it?
Message: Your movie sounds like just the thing we need to give to certain participants of our workshops and clients in my wife’s psychotherapy practice. How can we see it, and get it? Thanks……Bob
When it comes to education about masturbation there is still so much controversy in society. I struggled with this when trying to get interns for social media related to my documentary from my old alma mater at ASU. Here’s a chain of e-mails in which my request for interns was ignored and eventually rejected without reason from the honors college, despite my being an honors graduate of the school. I have chosen to leave all the names and e-mails intact; this way those angered by the sheepish response by the academic community educating the future generations can e-mail them requesting that they provide a satisfactory explanation for the refusal to provide interns. Let’s hope their response is not, because ASU does not condone education about masturbation. Please read on:
BATTLE FOR ASU INTERNS A.K.A.
EVEN (SUN) DEVILS FEAR MASTURBATION
From: Smart Media LLC [mailto:nicholastana@smartmediallc.com] Sent: Wednesday, February 02, 2011 10:14 AM To: Margaret Nelson Cc: Jill Johnson. Subject: Fw: RE: Internship Questionnaire
Dear Ms. Nelson,
Jill Johnson has referred me to you for some answers as to why my posting seeking interns to work in Social Media and Film Marketing for a major documentary is not being posted.
Please refer to the trail of correspondence between Jill and I below. I would like to speak to you over the phone about why this posting is not being listed as soon as possible as time is of the essence for recruiting new help. Please note, this concerns a high profile, educational film that features the former Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders, as well as a number of very well respected high profile educators and psychologists. You can refer to the trailer: www.stickythemovie.com. I would be happy to discuss the project, the company history, and what the work would entail in more detail. I hope you can respond in a timely manner as I have already dealt with much delayed response.
Respectfully,
Nicholas Tana
CEO, Smart Media L.L.C.
* * * *
On Wed, 2/2/11, Jill Johnson <Jill.Johnson@asu.edu> wrote:
Subject: RE: Internship Questionnaire
To: “nicholastana@smartmediallc.com” “Alexandra Aragon” <Alexandra.Aragon@asu.edu> Date: Wednesday, February 2, 2011, 11:51 AM
Nicholas,
You are welcome to contact our Vice Dean, Peggy Nelson, to speak to her about this internship posting: MNelson@asu.edu
Jill Johnson Program Manager Barrett, The Honors College at ASU Downtown Phoenix Campus
* * * *
From: Smart Media LLC [mailto:nicholastana@smartmediallc.com]
My e-mail to Margaret was pretty much the same as above inserting her name. Her response was as laconic as the bad guy in a Spaghetti Western.
* * * *
From: Margaret Nelson <mnelson@asu.edu> Subject: RE: RE: Internship QuestionnaireTo: “‘nicholastana@smartmediallc.com'” Date: Wednesday, February 2, 2011, 4:22 PM
Mr. Tana,
We will not be posting this internship for our students.
Sincerely, Margaret C. Nelson
Vice Dean, Barrett, the Honors College at ASU, President’s Professor, School of Human Evolution and Social Change PO Box 871612 Tempe, AZ 85287-1612 480-965-9520 Office 480-965-0760 FAX mnelson@asu.edu
* * * *
Truly, I find this ironic coming from the Dean from the School of Human Evolution and Social Change. It even says it in her response. I decided to response with an equally scarce reply. Short and to the point.
<nicholastana@smartmediallc.com> wrote: Subject: RE: RE: Internship QuestionnaireTo: “Margaret Nelson” <mnelson@asu.edu> Date: Wednesday, February 2, 2011, 7:18 PM
Dear Ms. Nelson,
Why?
Sincerely,
Nicholas Tana
RISE TO ACTION PEOPLE!
To this day, I never received a response despite leaving numerous phone messages and other e-mails. FEEL FREE TO POST YOUR COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS EXCHANGE SHOULD YOU TAKE ME UP ON THIS ONE AND E-MAIL THEM, AS I’D LOVE TO DOCUMENT THEIR RESPONSES FOR THE RECORD:
Margaret C. Nelson Vice Dean, Barrett, the Honors College at ASU President’s Professor, School of Human Evolution and Social Change PO Box 871612 Tempe, AZ 85287-1612 480-965-9520 Office 480-965-0760 FAX
OUR CONTROVERSIAL STICKY YOUTUBE CHANNEL
There has been much controversy on the Stickythemovie YouTube channel as well. Since this blog post is already rather lengthy, I’ll let you check it out for yourself on our Sticky The Movie YouTube Channel here http://www.youtube.com/user/StickyTheMovie
Suffice it to say that the debates range from whether masturbation causes cancer to whether it’s a sin. Some of the responses and comments are rather interesting. I’ll leave you with this single excerpt: “Naw, masturbation is a sin. I know absolutely 100% certain it is. I repented of it and I even had demons attack me wanting me to back into it.”
STICKY CLIMAX
So whether you think masturbation is demonic, angelic, right or wrong, healthy or harmful, or whether you just don’t care, suffice it to say, it’s a very touchy subject. For the silent majority of you who are intimidated but intrigued by masturbation and this film, but may be too afraid to like it on your Face book wall for fear of offending. If you secretly enjoy masturbation as a guilty pleasure, there is a reason it has been referred to as both self-love and self-abuse. I say to you all, be brave people, and form STICKY HANDS ACROSS AMERICA…to liberate everyone from the great fear of education about masturbation! I really began to see the value in what I was doing by making this film when my cousin who is a public school teacher in Arizona told me that a student around 12 years of age asked her sincerely, if he could get herpes from masturbating. This documentary is for kids like that poor little boy, and for his parents, our parents, children, teachers, everyone, who has every masturbated but been afraid to be caught or to talk about it, this story is for you. You are the reason why I am making this documentary.Written by Nicholas Tana, Writer, Producer, Director of Sticky: a documentary on masturbation.
Last year at this time I was embarking on my 101 Days of Self-Pleasure, which turned out to be an incredible learning experience. I learned a lot about my body, a lot about my pleasure and orgasm, and a lot about empowering myself as a woman and a sexual being. Yes, I get to Masturbate at work, but other’s may not be so lucky!
A recent case in Brazil ruled that Ana Catarian Bezerra, a Brazilian Accountant, would legally be able to masturbate on the job. She suffers from anxiety that is relieved by masturbation, which I am assuming ends with an orgasm. While this extreme need to masturbate may not be the norm, I have many clients who have admitted to masturbating on the job in order to relieve tension.
Personally, I don’t like the word “masturbation,”which translates to “to pollute one’s self.” I prefer to use the word “self-pleasure” or “solo-sex”.
Self-pleasure has many benefits. More and more awareness has been coming out about masturbation into the mainstream.
What are the some of the benefits to solo sex?
1) Stress Relief – Maybe Ana Catarian Bezerra is on to something and we simply need to have a few orgasms everyday if our job has us all tied up in tension knots. Perhaps we’d all be a little more relaxed during our next meeting.
2) Learning About Your Body – Self touch can be a wonderful way to learn about what pleases you most and it helps you get in touch with your body.
3) Keeps your Pelvic Floor Healthy – Orgasms cause the muscles of your pelvic floor to contract, thus keeping them healthy, which means good urinary health.
4) Rejuvenates your Youthful Glow – Self-Pleasure can help you produce “feel good” hormones that keep you looking and feeling more alive. Just look at Betty Dodson, the grandmother of masturbation, she’s over 80 and she looks amazing!
Touching yourself does not cause you to go blind, get hairy palms, or even deplete your body of vital nutrients. There is no link between masturbation in moderation and major health issues. So go ahead, you have permission to rub one out, just don’t try it at work – I doubt that U.S. courts would give you the same benefit!
Written by Jaiya, world-renowned sexologist, author of Red Hot Touch, and founder of New World Sex Education. Find out more about Jaiya on her www.sexisyou.com.
We want to here from you. Our answers may be used in the documentary.
In the beginning there was…masturbation? Well, probably. But things get touchy when it comes to talking about God and masturbation. Most major religions consider it to be a sin, while those that don’t, warn of the dangers of masturbation on the soul. So why aren’t people talking more about it?
Even agnostics and atheists could benefit from a better understanding of how Judeo Christian beliefs influence the education of future generations. This is especially true in the United States where Abstinence-only education has effected what is taught in classes around the country. So without further adieu, what would Jesus do?
Christianity: What would Jesus do?
Most Christians believe masturbation is a sin. This was confirmed in an interview I did with the late Father John F. Harvey, a Catholic priest known for founding Courage, a support group for homosexuals. Father Harvey told me in what might have been his last on camera interview that masturbation is hands down a sin. Ok, well I added the hands down part. No disrespect to this brave priest, God rest his soul. Father Harvey was the only priest willing to represent the Church stance on masturbation. The dozen or so others refused to get back to me.
Further research led me to a modern interpretation of masturbation from varies Christians. Dale Kaufman, a youth pastor of over 20 years, and a member of The Marriage Bed’s board of directors, said that the bible goes into a vast number of what it calls sinful sexual perversions but somehow manages to avoid masturbation. He suggests for young people struggling with hormones, “that the best way to masturbate is to focus the mind on God.” Not sure if that would work for me. Christ nailed to the cross, is certainly a mood killer. Maybe, that’s the point. As for what Jesus would do? Well, he did say, if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. However, when it comes to the “sin” of masturbation, I prefer to turn the other cheek.
Judaism: Is touching oneself kosher?
My interview with Rabbi Ron Levine several years back yielded comic results. He quoted George Carlin saying, “if God didn’t want us to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.” Despite the fact that masturbation is not explicitly prohibited in the Torah, the Halakha and the Oral Torah view masturbation as a great sin. Sperm is seen as a potential future living human being, and masturbation, as waste of potential life.
So, what’s the final word on Jews and jacking and jilling off? I guess, if you’re Jewish, you’ll have to decide for yourself. I can’t help but think of the Jewish Comedian Woody Allen here and his famous line, “Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love.”
Islam: Would Mohamed Ali approve?
My interview with a Muslim by the name of Muhammad Ali was interesting to say the least. I’m not talking about Muhammad Ali the boxer, but Muhammad Ali the father of a very dear friend, and the only imam brave enough to grace me with an interview. Considering what happened to Salmon Rushdie (Author of The Satanic Verses), I don’t blame them.
Mr. Ali explained that if one is to choose between masturbation and rape, masturbation is the sin of choice. When he puts it this way, I agree with him. However, the alternatives, marriage and or fasting are much preferred amongst Muslims, and even suggested in hadith. If Masturbation is forbidden in the Qur’an and in the Sunni Sahih hadith, it’s no wonder the Muslim population is expected to increase by about 35% in the next 20 years.
Buddhism: Will it lead to enlightenment?
What do the Buddhists have to say about rubbing the Buddha? The answer is simple (kind of), like describing the sound of one hand clapping. When it comes to laypeople, there appears to be no sins in Buddhism. The act of self-stimulation (likely) causes no harm to others. Provided you’re not harming yourself (30% of suicides by males 12-20 are do to Auto-erotic asphyxiation).
However, the ability to control desire is definitely encouraged in Buddhism. This is in part why for Buddhist monks, masturbation is forbidden. My interview with Eugene Cash, a Buddhist living up in San Francisco, confirmed that though masturbation may not be a sin (given the fact that there are no sins in Buddhism), he had his doubts that it will lead to enlightenment.
Conclusion: Is masturbation a sin?
As to whether God would want us masturbating or not, the question remains a mystery. If masturbation is a sin, I can’t help but think of that Curtis Mayfield line: “if there’s a hell below, we’re all gonna go.”
The following exclusive excerpt from Sticky shows a mock porn style Biblical reenactment of the Old Testament and explains why masturbation was once referred to as Onanism.
Written by Nicholas Tana.
Imagine a door-to-door sales man pulling up in front of your house with a suitcase full of dildos and vibrating panties. Picture a kiosk in the mall next to that woman selling jewelry that displays lubricants and cock rings. Difficult? Silly? Why? Social stigma, fear, and moral judgment surrounding self-stimulation make it tough – if not impossible – to market anything to do with masturbation.
The laws in some places make adult toys hard if not illegal to sell. For example, in India, adult toys are illegal. (Read More) This is without a doubt strange legislation coming from the country that brought us Tantra and the Kama Sutra. Most people would be surprised to learn that sex toys are illegal in parts of the United States, too. (Read More)
Despite restrictive legislation there is money to be made in selling adult toys. The adult toy industry continues to show profit even in a bad economy. People may not be buying books at Borders anymore but they are buying cock rings and panty vibrators. While the porn industry suffers as a result of the number of free downloads available via the Internet, the adult toy industry has shown a 30% increase annually. This past Valentines day, flower sales dipped while sex toy sales rose. (Read More) It would seem the road to economic recovery is in the palm of our hands. Picture Obama waving his Hitachi Magic Wand in the air shouting, “yes, we can.”
Do high profits and a thriving industry mean adult toy owners can avoid marketing? I think not. A carefully chosen marketing and advertising campaign can certainly “stimulate” sales. Consider the spike in sales of the Rabbit vibrator after it first appeared in “Sex in The City.” So what can you do to maximize the marketing of such self-pleasuring items? Here are some tips that I’ve gleaned from interviewing and speaking with countless adult toy industry sales representatives on to how to market masturbation related products.
HOW TO MARKET MASTURBATION:
1) USE HUMOR Those SERIOUS about marketing products used for masturbation must be FUNNY. When the Rabbit vibrator appeared in “Sex in The City” people laughed at the idea of Charlotte becoming addicted to her vibrator. This helped audiences get past their fear and embarrassment and make a purchase. Excuse me, miss, asks the check out clerk, is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
2) USE DISCRETION While sex toys and personal lubricants have become increasingly available in major commercial outlets in the United States, on-shelf displays are often discreetly placed in the “sexual health” section of stores. Consider the number one masturbation toy for men, Fleshlight. The product is basically an artificial vagina in a plastic casing made to look like a flashlight. You may not see the light, but you’ll see the light, if you know what I mean. Given the fact that until recently it was illegal to sell adult toys in Texas, it is no wonder that the company that makes this luscious and licentious light is headquartered in the lone star state. I could insert a funny and forced comment about Bush here, but I’ll refrain.
3) USE CLASS Marketing must make people feel normal and natural about masturbation if it is going to get someone to risk ridicule and social pressure to buy a dildo or personal lubricant. Companies like Tenga and System Joe have worked hard to make masturbation toys and personal lubricants trendy and even stylish. So keep your marketing classy, too. It’s far better to show a man or woman’s hand or face than to plaster pictures of genitals on your product. Avoid cheesy style seventies fonts, too. Instead pick modern fonts less associated with the pornography industry. Making people feel less perverted can prove handy when it comes to increasing sales.
When following these three simple rules, it’s still difficult to market masturbation.
The proof is in the personal lubricant. This is why vibrators for years were marketed as back massagers. As taboos associated with sex vanish, we see more commercials for Viagra. When was the last time you saw a commercial for a personal lubricant marketed candidly as a cream used for masturbation? The attached clip from Sticky: a documentary on masturbation, uses a 70’s-style spokesperson commercial spoof to mock the difficulty of marketing masturbation to a mainstream audience.
I’d like to know your thoughts. Send in comments about this article or suggestions on how to market masturbation to info@stickythemovie.com.
Written by Nicholas Tana.
StickyTheMovie 